undecided

I remember feeling confused. I wasn’t sure if should look forward to it or if I would end up wishing that I would have never gotten in the car. The ride was long and I was nervous. Nervous because I was afraid of what could happen. I could have gotten in a lot of trouble and I could have been going to meet someone who would quickly become my worst enemy. At the same time, I could have gone to sleep completely happy, dreaming of what might be. That 20 minute drive was all uncertainty, imagining, hoping, wishing, praying for what I didn’t know. My mind was telling me to slow down but my feet were moving too fast. As soon as I got there, nothing and waiting and then nothing again. My stomach was turning. What’s going on? Why was I brought here? Is there a reason this is happening? I looked around, walked around, waited around. That’s when I heard the news and my heart dropped. I needed to keep myself occupied so I walked so more, to where I don’t know. As I turned the corner, that’s when I saw, and the busy world that I was once in decided to stop. My heart stopped. It was nothing that I had expected. As I walked closer, I became more and more sure of what I was seeing. At three feet away you I heard you say, “Hey, I’m Dan.” And my life has never been the same. I was sure I was seeing my future boyfriend, fiance, husband and I was sure that I would have regretted it if I hadn’t gotten into that car. Last night I went to sleep dreaming of what is and what is going to be.